If you are parents would you say your children are entitled to have your love and support? Not entitled to have wealth or stuff. But relationship?
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Shawn
Oct 15, 2020
Lou- bless u and I understand your ? about how knowing if God said I was a vessel of wrath. Forgive me really long explanation but it’s a lot. It’s the most terrifying lonely soul crushing thing. My whole life to end up being created to be hated by God. Can you imagine that? I dont want to have been born 😭😩. God didn’t speak like in words but through events, confirmations, circumstantial, intuition all piled up together. Very hard to explain in words but I’ll try. And it will sound wild Cause it’s so much that piled up. I hate this abd I don’t know how to handle it. It’s hardened me just like God says he will do in bible but then I go back to wanting God like why God?? I wanted to be softened and Gid empower me control of my mind and feelings to heal. I’m so overwhelmed with toxic intrusive worst feelings. No person can handle this and do good. I’m nothing how could you create me and hate me. To see me as some enemy when I’m nothing but a desperate child😩. I don’t want evil in heart I wanted to know you like others have and know your love and change more and more. Being right emotionally with god or anyone didn’t come natural cause how painful life has been. It’s the worst nightmare ever to be tortured so bad you guys can’t imagine how bad the symptoms in mind feelings and body and hated by almighty God himself all combined. To find out all the pain and afflictions have been from God himself. But all your life being told God loves you so much and that He has such a plan to use you bringing it altogether for your good. you imagine the shock if what I’m saying is true? We all have been taught that every human being can be saved. And it comes down to if humans really have free will like we were taught. That gave me great hope all my life if we could turn to God and He was always there. I knew of the nephilim thing where anything with fallen angel dna could not be saved. That’s what God showed people the mark of beast is. It will change dna and people can’t be saved. I knew about the seed of serpent in Genesis is the same thing. Cains bloodline is nephilim DNA and so that could be maybe half the population of the world can’t be saved with that DNA and other half of world Adams through Seth. First my life been nothing but most severe debilitating hell. Bible says Gid is in control of everything and tho the devils afflict it’s because God uses them to. Deut 32:39. That is not good sign that God loves you if you have curses and come from such bad bloodline and so sick from birth. All my family it’s been nothing but destruction. Bloodline dna is so important in the Bible. So already being so sick all my life when this drug reaction happened 5 months ago that is still not gotten better at all I knew intuitively hope was gone. That my dreams of God being with me and me His son were not true. My dreams of God using me in His army in the endtimes and me getting to love him and changed by him not true. I started seeing :44 again that means judgement. I was led to this article where 44 is also sons of God and serpent competing for the inheritance. If my DNA is bad it’s saying because I was seeking God so much desiring the inheritance that I was in the wrong. I was led to see Romans 9 very clearly that God chooses who he saves and who he condemns and does it himself not the people choosing. Terrified me crushed me.Many things that are personal things that are synchronicities I guess u call them confirmed what God showed me. I so desperately tried to contact street seven ministries on YouTube who is most anointed person led by spirit like in Acts I ever seen. Every second he hears spirit and follows it. To get his attention desperate I sent $200 pay pal but the Holy Spirit told him to block it. He never knew me and Spirit told him my exact email address to type in blocking my account. The Holy Spirit did that. And his vids he shows Holy Spirit telling him day before who he will talk to their name and everything. You watch him to see how Spirit leads and tells him every second what to do. Thats one example of God rejecting me in a supernatural way.I took Uber at 2am to get prayed for by very anointed man from the last reformation named Torben. There’s long back story. But desperate for God to fill me with spirit heal tell me I’m accepted. Anything from God my hope had been lost. Nothing hAppened. and he casts demons from people everywhere fills them with Holy Spirit right on the spot. Over years I’ve had more prayer from people than just about anyone cause I knew God was truth. All my life tho there was this deep feeling of rejection and condemned and terrified of God.I still wanted to keep hope and I was in such darkness in terror from the affliction and worse because of OCD every second having the “knowing” God hates me. I just tried to focus that Jesus loves me. I fell asleep thinking that. and 2 am woke up with the loudest and I know it was supernatural cause it was never heard anything like it in my life knocking and cracking right above my head on the wall for 20 seconds or so and ended with a noise like the wood was breaking in that one spot and the wall was going to break and crash on top of me. No storm or wind that night. I knew it was God cause I had already knew before Gid showed me He hated me but that night I was just tryin to not give up. Never in my life anything supernatural hAppeved until that night and I knew it was Gid cause it was like I was tryin to fight what He has already showed me by me trying to believe Jesus loves me. So I was so paranoid and crushed inside that Gid gonna kill me with walls crashing on me. It was such a terrifying sound and thing and for it to come from God in a bad hate way. A few days later I was woken up in bed right before an earthquake shook my whole house. In my area last earthquake was 1916. It was like another supernatural confirmation only God could do bringing on more fear cause since the noise happened I was scared Gid would kill me with walls breaking and that’s exactly what earthquakes do. It happened again a month later the next time I just tried to focus hope on Jesus I had all the lights on fan on tv and Xbox playing YouTube and as I was focusing on Jesus within 1 minute only the tv and Xbox shut off. That’s impossible for that to happen and again hAppened when I was focusing on Jesus. If that was a demon you hear about them coming into your mind to stop you from loving Jesus but not such supernatural physical things or manifestations. And both times when I was trying to believe Jesus loves me. With how bad of shape I’m in and so low if demons could do such things you would think God would give grace to not allow them do physical things that terrorize like that when I’m tryin so hard to cling to hope of Jesus and have Him take over my life. It’s all the things combined. There’s more that have to do with a friend who has dreams that I asked him pray God gives me a dream cause I just needed to know I was his or hope he had plan for my life cause I was in such panic and pain disabled. The dreams he had he believed were for me that had details many others have gotten showing details they were 144thousand. That was on purpose those exact dreams Gid led him to tell me but were actually for him. For years I hoped in those cause Gid never spoke to me specifically. And it was like a cruel joke getting me to hope In such a dream to get to do such things with God and be his for eternity. To have the hope crushed and be helpless like everything else every time in life. Just like the Bible says He sustains abd creates vessels of wrath cause there is no way I could have endured all this torture and pain on my own. In bible he says he does everything for himself according to his will and pleasure. The vessels of wrath are made for the purpose of showing how powerful he is and also to show how blessed the vessels of mercy are. That’s what it all is. It’s a movie that God is making for himself and He controls all the creation. I wish you guys could pray to God and plead for mercy. All I cared about these years was having God and all the people in my life and whoever else to have God. And for the reality to be like this guys it’s so bad 😩😭 nothing could be worse I’m so lonely and terrified. I still want to cling to God and like I can’t do anything. He didn’t allow me choice.
1
Shawn
Oct 19, 2020
Replying to
Yea but I was too overwhelmed I needed Gids help. There are deliverence ministers but it’s up to Gid if people get delivered. Rest of believers on YouTube says demons are sent by God and he’s in control. Guys Gid has in this life treated me as if I was nothing or so wickedest person. What has happened has been honestly worse torture so severe than anyone I’ve ever seen over a long period of time. To seek Gid ahd be rejected and god afflict me. He says vessels of wrath are to show those he gives mercy how blessed they are for ever. That’s all I have been to God. It really is guys.
Lou- bless u and I understand your ? about how knowing if God said I was a vessel of wrath. Forgive me really long explanation but it’s a lot. It’s the most terrifying lonely soul crushing thing. My whole life to end up being created to be hated by God. Can you imagine that? I dont want to have been born 😭😩. God didn’t speak like in words but through events, confirmations, circumstantial, intuition all piled up together. Very hard to explain in words but I’ll try. And it will sound wild Cause it’s so much that piled up. I hate this abd I don’t know how to handle it. It’s hardened me just like God says he will do in bible but then I go back to wanting God like why God?? I wanted to be softened and Gid empower me control of my mind and feelings to heal. I’m so overwhelmed with toxic intrusive worst feelings. No person can handle this and do good. I’m nothing how could you create me and hate me. To see me as some enemy when I’m nothing but a desperate child😩. I don’t want evil in heart I wanted to know you like others have and know your love and change more and more. Being right emotionally with god or anyone didn’t come natural cause how painful life has been. It’s the worst nightmare ever to be tortured so bad you guys can’t imagine how bad the symptoms in mind feelings and body and hated by almighty God himself all combined. To find out all the pain and afflictions have been from God himself. But all your life being told God loves you so much and that He has such a plan to use you bringing it altogether for your good. you imagine the shock if what I’m saying is true? We all have been taught that every human being can be saved. And it comes down to if humans really have free will like we were taught. That gave me great hope all my life if we could turn to God and He was always there. I knew of the nephilim thing where anything with fallen angel dna could not be saved. That’s what God showed people the mark of beast is. It will change dna and people can’t be saved. I knew about the seed of serpent in Genesis is the same thing. Cains bloodline is nephilim DNA and so that could be maybe half the population of the world can’t be saved with that DNA and other half of world Adams through Seth. First my life been nothing but most severe debilitating hell. Bible says Gid is in control of everything and tho the devils afflict it’s because God uses them to. Deut 32:39. That is not good sign that God loves you if you have curses and come from such bad bloodline and so sick from birth. All my family it’s been nothing but destruction. Bloodline dna is so important in the Bible. So already being so sick all my life when this drug reaction happened 5 months ago that is still not gotten better at all I knew intuitively hope was gone. That my dreams of God being with me and me His son were not true. My dreams of God using me in His army in the endtimes and me getting to love him and changed by him not true. I started seeing :44 again that means judgement. I was led to this article where 44 is also sons of God and serpent competing for the inheritance. If my DNA is bad it’s saying because I was seeking God so much desiring the inheritance that I was in the wrong. I was led to see Romans 9 very clearly that God chooses who he saves and who he condemns and does it himself not the people choosing. Terrified me crushed me. Many things that are personal things that are synchronicities I guess u call them confirmed what God showed me. I so desperately tried to contact street seven ministries on YouTube who is most anointed person led by spirit like in Acts I ever seen. Every second he hears spirit and follows it. To get his attention desperate I sent $200 pay pal but the Holy Spirit told him to block it. He never knew me and Spirit told him my exact email address to type in blocking my account. The Holy Spirit did that. And his vids he shows Holy Spirit telling him day before who he will talk to their name and everything. You watch him to see how Spirit leads and tells him every second what to do. Thats one example of God rejecting me in a supernatural way. I took Uber at 2am to get prayed for by very anointed man from the last reformation named Torben. There’s long back story. But desperate for God to fill me with spirit heal tell me I’m accepted. Anything from God my hope had been lost. Nothing hAppened. and he casts demons from people everywhere fills them with Holy Spirit right on the spot. Over years I’ve had more prayer from people than just about anyone cause I knew God was truth. All my life tho there was this deep feeling of rejection and condemned and terrified of God. I still wanted to keep hope and I was in such darkness in terror from the affliction and worse because of OCD every second having the “knowing” God hates me. I just tried to focus that Jesus loves me. I fell asleep thinking that. and 2 am woke up with the loudest and I know it was supernatural cause it was never heard anything like it in my life knocking and cracking right above my head on the wall for 20 seconds or so and ended with a noise like the wood was breaking in that one spot and the wall was going to break and crash on top of me. No storm or wind that night. I knew it was God cause I had already knew before Gid showed me He hated me but that night I was just tryin to not give up. Never in my life anything supernatural hAppeved until that night and I knew it was Gid cause it was like I was tryin to fight what He has already showed me by me trying to believe Jesus loves me. So I was so paranoid and crushed inside that Gid gonna kill me with walls crashing on me. It was such a terrifying sound and thing and for it to come from God in a bad hate way. A few days later I was woken up in bed right before an earthquake shook my whole house. In my area last earthquake was 1916. It was like another supernatural confirmation only God could do bringing on more fear cause since the noise happened I was scared Gid would kill me with walls breaking and that’s exactly what earthquakes do. It happened again a month later the next time I just tried to focus hope on Jesus I had all the lights on fan on tv and Xbox playing YouTube and as I was focusing on Jesus within 1 minute only the tv and Xbox shut off. That’s impossible for that to happen and again hAppened when I was focusing on Jesus. If that was a demon you hear about them coming into your mind to stop you from loving Jesus but not such supernatural physical things or manifestations. And both times when I was trying to believe Jesus loves me. With how bad of shape I’m in and so low if demons could do such things you would think God would give grace to not allow them do physical things that terrorize like that when I’m tryin so hard to cling to hope of Jesus and have Him take over my life. It’s all the things combined. There’s more that have to do with a friend who has dreams that I asked him pray God gives me a dream cause I just needed to know I was his or hope he had plan for my life cause I was in such panic and pain disabled. The dreams he had he believed were for me that had details many others have gotten showing details they were 144thousand. That was on purpose those exact dreams Gid led him to tell me but were actually for him. For years I hoped in those cause Gid never spoke to me specifically. And it was like a cruel joke getting me to hope In such a dream to get to do such things with God and be his for eternity. To have the hope crushed and be helpless like everything else every time in life. Just like the Bible says He sustains abd creates vessels of wrath cause there is no way I could have endured all this torture and pain on my own. In bible he says he does everything for himself according to his will and pleasure. The vessels of wrath are made for the purpose of showing how powerful he is and also to show how blessed the vessels of mercy are. That’s what it all is. It’s a movie that God is making for himself and He controls all the creation. I wish you guys could pray to God and plead for mercy. All I cared about these years was having God and all the people in my life and whoever else to have God. And for the reality to be like this guys it’s so bad 😩😭 nothing could be worse I’m so lonely and terrified. I still want to cling to God and like I can’t do anything. He didn’t allow me choice.