Forgive me, I know this site is about prophecy. I just know u guys are real believers
When I was kid I came up to alter out of fear for self preservation. I always had so much nervousness and anxiety, OCD(very bad)I was compelled by that fear to save from hell. Not Jesus. Cause I was so messed up inside and sensitive people hurt me and I was scared of people. So Jesus I never was able to connect to. I wanted to. I just did what I was told the best I knew how praying begging for stuff. When I found Jesus had laws, my whole life I’ve been terrified of God. Scared of hell. Guilt shame condemnation fear. So I would pray for salvation compulsively all my life never feeling peace.
Now the illness stuff I would imagine takes people’s peace. But with a true relationship with Jesus, it seems people can keep on strong in faith. I’ve never been able to tap into faith. Or trust in Jesus. Been sick hurt beat down so long never got to build any. Just always bracing for the next stressor. So I never trusted. Feared him and even paranoid of God. I mean guys I have so much to overcome somehow.
Please guys pray, even if I die however(because I’ve always feared greatly that stuff. Just fear all the time) that God almighty brings me to true heart repentance.
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Shawn
Jul 16, 2020
True Repentence
True Repentence
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Thank you beheff. I want to do that so bad cause I put myself in shoes of someone and I see it is the ultimate to have faith and confidence in god. ThT it would produce such good feelings that confidence. The afflictions themselves cause such great fear since I was born. It’s not regular situation. Telling me I’m in danger. With that it’s been hard for me to convince myself it’s not divine why it’s been that way. I am tryin so hard to build personal faith. I mean with fear and trembling for real. Is why I have asked for so much prayer. Bevause I am so weak and afflicted, beat down, I am so scared I can’t overcome by myself. I was just hospitalized twice from a drug reaction causing so bad side effects and did not sleep 9 days. Still feel them. If you were All messed up and in most desperate state how would u appeal to the lord?