You guys know Byron Searle he is a very real prophet of God. Getting word for word from God. His words express who God really is. https://byronsearle.blogspot.com/2020/09/the-wedding-is-ready-are-you.html?m=1 In his words he emphasizes the chosen. And heed the warning. He talks about those that believed they were His but aren’t. About ones that tried to sneak in another way. Guys forgive me this is my only outlet. I wish I was one of you. Had the knowibg abd grace and love from Gid I’d cut my limbs off anything to be. Nothing else matters. I’m so serious. To know all these spiritual things and denied by God is so bad. I’m as lonely and scared all the time as a person gets. As much as anyone can, 5 years ago I heeded the warning or tried to people like Byron have been saying. I never ridiculed Gods prophets abd watchmen but instead seen abd tried with all my strength to do what they said cause I knew they were true. I wish I didn’t know and could be in ignorance cause it hurts to bad knowibg what I do. But I know I was In a diabolical way led and given discernment to see the truth. I determined my will to Gid. Your mental and body functioning affects and cobtrols your soul and even your heart. I tried so hard but needed help because my life has been all trauma abd was told Gid would help cause I couldn’t do it by myself. Those that Jesus free are free indeed. It goes back to the chosen thing who he frees. I seen Gid answer so many times peoplles first cry abd they be set free and empowered to live for God. God does it all or else the person can boast. The person just has to walk in it without rebelling. I SOO yearned for that. To be called one of HIS people. If I had the wickedest heart I wanted to change. Help me, soften my heart, I dont want my heart shutdown no more. He has hardened my heart instead. In bible He says He will harden the heart of whoever He wants. That’s taking choice away and we are taught it’s all our choice. Have any of you ever paid attention to that and wondered about that when U read it? I wanted to love God not feel scared and traumatized of you and all these intrusive so heavy feelings that I can’t fight away. Like a dark cloud that’s supposed to crush me abd I’m not allowed to believe good things. It was like fear would come on me if I tried to think different. I would Please help me Gid I’m tryin so hard but I’m not healing In my heart. my body is shutdown to its weakest chronic state and I’m I’m tryin to repent forgive renew and talk to you but my soul is still sick. I can’t overcome such inordinate afflictions that cripple the soul and demons in my strength or willpower. I would give anything to be the lowest in the kingdim of God. Im a broken creation of yours that knows nothing abd just wants you abd to take over. I have nothing but pain bitter and fear and sickness. I was told God wants heart but my heart was crushed since birth made sick from something beyond my control and I needed help to even feel heart again my body so sick it has no energy to even feel good things in heart. Energy processes in body are so conplex. I want to love and love God as much as anyone cause I see those of you that have been able to have Gid. I’m very unique cause I was lead to seek and obsessively and found answers but Gid denied me himself. All the frustration was part of the plan of wrath. Showed me I’m a vessel of wrath and afflicted me in a way I’m so crippled in fear I can’t even distract now or sleep. God says no rest for the wicked. Right before the first wave of endtimes letting me know the last Hope I clung to not only wasn’t gonna happen but He’s hated me since birth and all the stuff that’s happened of being tortured mind body and soul and by people was all Him. And diabolical things like having a person in Jesus send me dreams saying they are for me with details that so many 144k people were shown to make me hope that Gid has a plan for my life. The most exciting plan but then to be like made fun of by God played with. If you listen to Byrons Words God laughs at those He hates. Those he created to hate. Like toys.,He says He is sovereign and does as He pleases. That is not the GOD IS LOVE to everyone waiting with mercy I was taught. I may have been so messed up all my life abd maybe even the most wicked heart of all, but I was very sincere and wanting to repent. Wanting to love Gid like you guys do and be accepted. To follow. I still do so bad. I’m just a creation with no power or control. To create me and torture me and him be the God of all is a nightmare situation above all. Be given 36 years and then eternity without ever a chance so that I can be watched forever for his pleasure and purpose to show the vessels of mercy “be glad I didn’t create you as him” but chose you for mercy so you will worship me forever. Because I had seen Gid was showing people like so many of you throygh real communication like dreams and differebt things that you are His abd his plan for you. That He will take care of you. I was so panicky and insecure cause I should have seen Gid in my life and me make progress in my soul. Instead He communicated to me 5 months ago personally in a knowable way 1st time in my life to show me He hates me and has poured his wrath on me all my life. That’s why my life has been unique in its chronic illnesses being so severe combined with how cruel my mom and dad were and people at school. There is nothing worse No hope of mercy but the opposite. No hope of salvation 😭😩. That is VERY UNIQUE to know on this side that God gave you no chance to be saved cause we are taught everyone can be saved. And everyone believes or hopes they will go to heaven when they die so they at least aren’t scared on this side. The world doesn’t know that Gid showed people in revelation that 98% of people and children and 9 of 10 or more Christians go to hell. That is what I seen him reveal to more than one person accoding to their testimony. God knows when/if the supply is shutdown and how bad He’s got me afflicted, that if I am cold turkeyed from high pain med of 10 years while being in the worstcstate of being even while on the pain med that i would be forced to either keep enduring the worst misery a person in this country can or suicide abd go to the worser place but either way unable to have God abd salvation. HOW BAD IS THAT AND CRUEL IS THAT?? There is nothing more CRUEL 😩 it’s unbearable. The rejection and dread. Every second of everyday I exist terrorized in one spot unable to move. No rest no peace nerves hurt muscles so tight in biggest knotThat is wrath. Why?! What did I do? And I will be 36 this month and I know God uses these things numbers like seeing :44. That would be 3 6s. I’m nobody. I’m not Pharoah but weird I was born in Memphis then was moved here short after. Instead of bloodline of 144k israel, bloodline of both my mom and dad being Gibson’s must be of evil. But I can’t help any of that and was just born with no contril of that. I Just been sick and desperate all my life created confised and lost. That’s who I am. To find out God created me just to torture me and send me to eternal torment even when I’m just like everyone else wanting Gjd and to change and know the truth. Those of you chosen have everything. I still want to find hope but I know He showed me 4 times 😩😩. The real truth is not like you think or been taught tho. God does not love everyone. Gid is love to those He chooses mercy on to be His people and his love to them is better than anything. But to the 98% of his creation He hates them even while He determines and controls their life. It’s all like a movie for His pleasure and purpose. They aren’t tortured like me but like Romans 11 a lot of them ernestly want God too but were not chosen and will be tossed out like trash told they are sinners which they were created to be and can’t be holy unless God chooses to give them mercy to be with the power of his Holy Spirit. I wish so dearly God loved abd was mercy like I was taught. I heard this guy Pastor Darrel and He preaches the truth of how Gid really is and it’s terrifying. https://youtu.be/z59kEwy4odo