Glkings thank you for love and support. The Christian family I wish I could be with forever I so wish I could. Real Christians try to love peiple. I sought out so many Christians these years talkin to that loved me. And I loved them. I need Gods love so bad and he showed me he didn’t choose mercy. I wish it was that every single person who calls on Jesus will be saved. I so wish it was true. What’s hAppeved to me is so severe like cruel and unusual punishment. A feeling of terror that’s not just in mind but all through the body and senses. and my body is so weak no strength completely exhausted lifeless to even speak or id be running around in terror. I’m like 60lbs under what I should be. Body hurting everywhere every second Not a second of rest. It reminds me of a deliverence minister that he says no rest for the wicked. I don’t want to be wicked I wanted to be righteous through Jesus. I would do anything I could to have God and his mercy.

Lou- bless u and I understand your ? about how knowing if God said I was a vessel of wrath. Forgive me really long explanation but it’s a lot. It’s the most terrifying lonely soul crushing thing. My whole life to end up being created to be hated by God. Can you imagine that? I dont want to have been born 😭😩. God didn’t speak like in words but through events, confirmations, circumstantial, intuition all piled up together. Very hard to explain in words but I’ll try. And it will sound wild Cause it’s so much that piled up. I hate this abd I don’t know how to handle it. It’s hardened me just like God says he will do in bible but then I go back to wanting God like why God?? I wanted to be softened and Gid empower me control of my mind and feelings to heal. I’m so overwhelmed with toxic intrusive worst feelings. No person can handle this and do good. I’m nothing how could you create me and hate me. To see me as some enemy when I’m nothing but a desperate child😩. I don’t want evil in heart I wanted to know you like others have and know your love and change more and more. Being right emotionally with god or anyone didn’t come natural cause how painful life has been. It’s the worst nightmare ever to be tortured so bad you guys can’t imagine how bad the symptoms in mind feelings and body and hated by almighty God himself all combined. To find out all the pain and afflictions have been from God himself. But all your life being told God loves you so much and that He has such a plan to use you bringing it altogether for your good. you imagine the shock if what I’m saying is true? We all have been taught that every human being can be saved. And it comes down to if humans really have free will like we were taught. That gave me great hope all my life if we could turn to God and He was always there. I knew of the nephilim thing where anything with fallen angel dna could not be saved. That’s what God showed people the mark of beast is. It will change dna and people can’t be saved. I knew about the seed of serpent in Genesis is the same thing. Cains bloodline is nephilim DNA and so that could be maybe half the population of the world can’t be saved with that DNA and other half of world Adams through Seth. First my life been nothing but most severe debilitating hell. Bible says Gid is in control of everything and tho the devils afflict it’s because God uses them to. Deut 32:39. That is not good sign that God loves you if you have curses and come from such bad bloodline and so sick from birth. All my family it’s been nothing but destruction. Bloodline dna is so important in the Bible. So already being so sick all my life when this drug reaction happened 5 months ago that is still not gotten better at all I knew intuitively hope was gone. That my dreams of God being with me and me His son were not true. My dreams of God using me in His army in the endtimes and me getting to love him and changed by him not true. I started seeing :44 again that means judgement. I was led to this article where 44 is also sons of God and serpent competing for the inheritance. If my DNA is bad it’s saying because I was seeking God so much desiring the inheritance that I was in the wrong. I was led to see Romans 9 very clearly that God chooses who he saves and who he condemns and does it himself not the people choosing. Terrified me crushed me. Many things that are personal things that are synchronicities I guess u call them confirmed what God showed me. I so desperately tried to contact street seven ministries on YouTube who is most anointed person led by spirit like in Acts I ever seen. Every second he hears spirit and follows it. To get his attention desperate I sent $200 pay pal but the Holy Spirit told him to block it. He never knew me and Spirit told him my exact email address to type in blocking my account. The Holy Spirit did that. And his vids he shows Holy Spirit telling him day before who he will talk to their name and everything. You watch him to see how Spirit leads and tells him every second what to do. Thats one example of God rejecting me in a supernatural way. I took Uber at 2am to get prayed for by very anointed man from the last reformation named Torben. There’s long back story. But desperate for God to fill me with spirit heal tell me I’m accepted. Anything from God my hope had been lost. Nothing hAppened. and he casts demons from people everywhere fills them with Holy Spirit right on the spot. Over years I’ve had more prayer from people than just about anyone cause I knew God was truth. All my life tho there was this deep feeling of rejection and condemned and terrified of God. I still wanted to keep hope and I was in such darkness in terror from the affliction and worse because of OCD every second having the “knowing” God hates me. I just tried to focus that Jesus loves me. I fell asleep thinking that. and 2 am woke up with the loudest and I know it was supernatural cause it was never heard anything like it in my life knocking and cracking right above my head on the wall for 20 seconds or so and ended with a noise like the wood was breaking in that one spot and the wall was going to break and crash on top of me. No storm or wind that night. I knew it was God cause I had already knew before Gid showed me He hated me but that night I was just tryin to not give up. Never in my life anything supernatural hAppeved until that night and I knew it was Gid cause it was like I was tryin to fight what He has already showed me by me trying to believe Jesus loves me. So I was so paranoid and crushed inside that Gid gonna kill me with walls crashing on me. It was such a terrifying sound and thing and for it to come from God in a bad hate way. A few days later I was woken up in bed right before an earthquake shook my whole house. In my area last earthquake was 1916. It was like another supernatural confirmation only God could do bringing on more fear cause since the noise happened I was scared Gid would kill me with walls breaking and that’s exactly what earthquakes do. It happened again a month later the next time I just tried to focus hope on Jesus I had all the lights on fan on tv and Xbox playing YouTube and as I was focusing on Jesus within 1 minute only the tv and Xbox shut off. That’s impossible for that to happen and again hAppened when I was focusing on Jesus. If that was a demon you hear about them coming into your mind to stop you from loving Jesus but not such supernatural physical things or manifestations. And both times when I was trying to believe Jesus loves me. With how bad of shape I’m in and so low if demons could do such things you would think God would give grace to not allow them do physical things that terrorize like that when I’m tryin so hard to cling to hope of Jesus and have Him take over my life. It’s all the things combined. There’s more that have to do with a friend who has dreams that I asked him pray God gives me a dream cause I just needed to know I was his or hope he had plan for my life cause I was in such panic and pain disabled. The dreams he had he believed were for me that had details many others have gotten showing details they were 144thousand. That was on purpose those exact dreams Gid led him to tell me but were actually for him. For years I hoped in those cause Gid never spoke to me specifically. And it was like a cruel joke getting me to hope In such a dream to get to do such things with God and be his for eternity. To have the hope crushed and be helpless like everything else every time in life. Just like the Bible says He sustains abd creates vessels of wrath cause there is no way I could have endured all this torture and pain on my own. In bible he says he does everything for himself according to his will and pleasure. The vessels of wrath are made for the purpose of showing how powerful he is and also to show how blessed the vessels of mercy are. That’s what it all is. It’s a movie that God is making for himself and He controls all the creation. I wish you guys could pray to God and plead for mercy. All I cared about these years was having God and all the people in my life and whoever else to have God. And for the reality to be like this guys it’s so bad 😩😭 nothing could be worse I’m so lonely and terrified. I still want to cling to God and like I can’t do anything. He didn’t allow me choice.

May YHWH bless you.

I would love to have an answer for you. My heart goes out to you. All I can do is to remember what is written in His word given to man (Adam). Please consider that forgiveness is a gift for man from his Creator. The angels are not given the choice. They may desire a 2nd chance, but it in not for them. It is written that all who call on the Name will be saved. Yashua came to bring man back into the correct relationship with the Father. Remember what was spoken to Cain. He was told to overcome. Look at Jacob on his journey back to the land. He wrestled with YHWH all night! He did NOT let go! It is written many times that YHWH saves those who come to Him and trust Him. I cannot see how if you, from your heart, all of it like you seem to do, come and plead with Him, will not be accepted by Him. If you have that desire, He knows. Read His word. Trust Him. Trust His Word. He does not lie. Our ways are not His ways. Our reasoning works against us. He is for us.

I do not have all answers. Only The Creator. Plead like you have been. If your desire is to know Him. Not to know about Him. Not to have His things. But to have that one-on-one relationship with our Creator and the Creator of all. Yes, He made us with families to, through life, to show and teach us. His hurt, His pain, His love, His forgiveness. Life is hard. Read Ecclesiastes, ouch! But that is truth, truth hurts. I hope that you get something from this. Shalom.

The universe shall acclaim Him.

I think one must remember that while God hopes that we consider him as a father and friend, He is also God, King, Creator and Judge. It is a bit more complicated than just a father-son relationship.

Cryn- I am a living soul that people of God threaten eternal heaven or hell since I was a kid. At the moment I still have breath. I’ve considered and taken the seriousness of eternity more than anyone or as much as anyone can. People don’t really think about it deeply or imagine the implications of eternity. They are all confident of going to heaven. They haven’t listened to all the hell testimonies to see what God showed people. And thought about those implications for the people around them. It’s more important than anything by infinite. I ask for real if all humans are entitled to God because we are told He loves everyone. If you are a father Cryn what do u require of your child for them to be entitled to your support? WhT if they fight in desperation to meet those requirements for years? A child knows when a parent is in their life. I always wanted God although I wanted world too. But also growing up I didn’t know how God really was with those He chooses to love. But when things were taken so low God was my only hope (I know this occurs with lots of people God chose cause I heard their testimonies) I started to really seek answers. When I learned through others similar to Elizabeth that I discerned really had God speaking to them, I wanted to do whatever they were saying. I realized God was really real and true which gave me great hope because before with how mentally tormented from illness and anxiety from it, I could not have trust or peace I had no knowledge or experience of anything. Millions of ?s from my mind a million mph that bothered me instead of a simple mind that can relax and trust. With heavy metals poisoning your brain and body there is no simplicity of peace. Plus the demons too that I know are there from my family and me sinning. My point is I sought and learned with as Ernest and serious a motivation a person can have to have God. Cause it was like the pressure was ALL on me in order to have Gid cause I’d never seen him in my life. It had just been torture. I WANTED to be refined. Deeply desired it cause that would prove Gid working in me as His child. I wanted to do anything. Nothing is more important than eternal life and the idea of having almighty God love you as your father is worth more than gold. When I started to learn to evaluate myself cause I used to be so lost blind didn’t understand anything. I seen Gid sent hundreds of people to hell and gave certain ones second chances at eternity and He told them what it took so I watched them thinking if it comes straight from Gid I wanna listen cause I wanna do what He says. I dont want to be deceived by so many that trust their own faith interpretation of the Bible. That’s why theirs thousand of denoms. I listened to what they said Gids standard was and I started to learn what those things were like pride etc cause I never understood naturally and am not naturally smart at all. Illness has wrecked me in every way. But I wanted those things gone. I didn’t and don’t want to be evil inside or out. I started to try and find things like you said to be thankful and hopeful. I wanted all of Jesus like I seen people experience. I’ve never been able to get close to people cause illness and being messed up mentally so I knew I needed grace and help from God. I seen though that these people God sovereignly came to and saved them. Supernaturally one way or another God drew them to Him with saving faith and empowerment through spirit. Favored them. I’ve been to church all growing up and listened to hundreds testimonies on the net. There’s a difference. God Delivered them from demons. Empowered them with his Holy Spirit in a tangible way that let them actually have a relationship and not sin. Not just tryin to know Him through the Bible. I wanted to be free of sin and love God. I learned from trying with all my will and might to stop all willful sin that you can’t get it all out. There’s the inside too not just out. Yet it’s required to make it to heaven. But if you have a bunch of demons and strongholds, unless they are cast out you will never be free. And they will only be cast out if God chooses mercy to let them be cast out. Everyone has demons even Christians and those Gid chooses tho the children’s bread in the Bible is freedom from demons so that they can be free from sin and the joy of freedom in general. I seen those that were really close with Jesus filled with faith power to not sin love God delivered them. They had a real story of Gid tangibly coming to them. Being born again. I never had a testimony other than me desperately seeking God. Those that Jesus frees are free indeed. He loves and takes care of those HE CHOOSES. As Elizabeth writes, those that are HIS. For 5 years I obsessed wanting that trying. And I was panicked cause a person knows if the spirit of God is given or if you are born again or if God is working in you as a relationship. And I learned to ask for spiritual things. And really wanted those things. Give me a new heart a soft heart not a hard or harder one from all the pain and frustration. Don’t let me be deceived. Help me overcome the doubt unbelief and terror of you God. I asked everything I could think wanting to be refined and changed like Jesus. Ain’t nothing more important. I had hardly any strength and felt just dead inside but I wanted God desperately. To be a child of God no sin or worldly thing is more important. the chronic illnesses and abuse severity has been far from typical so I really have needed help. I needed healing in heart and just in general cause all that’s gone on been way to much for me to fix on my own. I couldn’t will it away or even work through it cause I was tryin every single day for years. I’m so alone peiple don’t realize But all I could do was fight for dear life the only way I could and hope for dear life God has mercy. I tell you the 100% truth. I would never play with this as I told you I most seriously believe and want God. Five months ago for the first time God spoke to me in tangible ways and confirmed over and over He made me a vessel of wrath. That everything that’s happened was His plan and purpose and I never had a chance to be saved. Just like Gelzel L seen and many others about the Genesis seed of the serpent DNA like nephilim their must be millions or billions out there that think they can be saved by what Christians teach but they can’t be saved. People born of no fault of their own trying to find answers and many try to follow ernestly Jesus but unknowingly have no chance of salvation. The truth is nothing at all like people think. I would never give up on God. Without the Gid of love we are taught about there’s no hope. So no way I’m playin when sayin this. Words can’t describe how lonely and rejected and darkest feelings of hopeless. Everyone will not believe it. I read much in bible people ignore that did not line up and certainly did not have the tone of God loving everyone. Of God giving everyone a loving chance. I still tried to keep hope until God showed me what He did. I can’t believe it. My whole life enduring torture clinging to the hope of God and what I been taught to be shown I was created to be hated and rejected. I LIKE A LITTLE BABY NEEDED GODS LOVE!! So lost confused and desperate. For that to end up being the situation is worse than any nightmare. Even tho I been sick at home 90% of my life if I have such wickedness in my heart that I was born with beyond most my control, I wanted to change so bad. To be Gods son. John 6:65 65Then Jesus said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless the Father has granted it to him.” Matthew 15:13 13But Jesus replied, “Every plant that My heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by its roots. in order that God’s plan of ELECTION might stand, 12not by works but by Him who calls, 16You did not choose Me, but I CHOSE you.

I was trying to ask if the same goes with God. I understand that parents who believe in God usually really love and support their kids. And would not deny their kids. But as creations from God are we entitled to have Him in the same way? Wealth dont matter. Only relationship grace and mercy matter is all I came to really want and need. But what if He don’t give it to you and you were obsessed trying to get God like a child so lost confused and in danger searching for his parent? There are so many such terrible things happen in world. But in bible God takes care of his kids and if tragedy happens it is because they are persecuted or killed for Gid which is an honor and Gid supports them in spirit the whole way. But what if u heard and seen about Gids love for his children and were told that anyone can become His but in reality it never happened despite the Ernest effort and desire? It’s all I cared about and God showed me it don’t matter. I admit I had so much toxic stuff inside and angry at God but like a kid felt abused they just want their parent and would do whatever to have them and love and try anything to change. John 6:65 65Then Jesus said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless the Father has granted it to him.” Matthew 15:13 13But Jesus replied, “Every plant that My heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by its roots. Philippians 1:29 For it has been GRANTED to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him,

I am parent of two girls I would say I love my children and I always support them. Wealth is materialistic. You will be wealthy by His grace and mercy. “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:7-8‬ ‭KJV‬‬