I can't sleep because of the burdens on my heart and I ask for prayer from whoever reads this and feels lead. I hope this is ok to post here.

For as long as I can remember I have always had vivid dreams. Even before I became a Believer in Jesus. I believe the enemy used this gift that the Lord had given me from birth because of the Ouija board in our home. I would play with it daily, from as long as I could remember. Thank the Lord, before my family and I were saved. I knew as a child that something was very wrong with the Ouija board and threw it away. Months later my parents and I accepted Jesus!! The horrific nightmares, items disappearing from my room, and levitating off my bed. Those things stopped. Many amazing things that followed in the years after my family and I turned our lives around for the Lord. From backsliding, almost being abducted and the Lord sending an angel to save my friend and I. To sending strangers telling me how much God loved me, in the darkest parts of my teen to young adult years away from the Lord. I knew the Lord was patiently waiting for me to come back to him.

When I did come back to the Lord about 2 years after my first son was born (its been 17 years back with Jesus!!). That is a story and miracle on its own, Praise the Lord!! He has been growing me in Him, His Word and path that He has set before me. I will never be the same, thank you Jesus!! But with the calling I believe He has set before me and the things He has been giving me in dreams and visions (thank the Lord the enemy no longer holds my dreams captive!!). It has been lonely with many of the Believers I have met and know. This is where my burden lies.

My husband, myself and our 4 kids were apart of 2 home churches for a few years, after the Lord called us out of a large Calvary Chapel church. We treasure the time the Lord had us their (that is where I came back to the Lord). But as time passed (we had no clue what was going on with the church, something was off). The message, worship and even so many of the people started to slowly change. So the Lord brought us out of that church. We found out some heartbreaking things with the pastor and some of the elders there, that I will not discuss.

Long story short, we were invited to a home church, which turned into meeting at 3 different homes. In these homes I saw miracles, words from the Lord, healing. The Lord healed me of a illness I was diagnosed with!! The Body operating just like in the book of Acts. I grew spiritually, my family grew spiritually and saw the Living God work like I have never seen in all the churches I had been in!! Then slowly the Lord moved so many of the family's away.

My family and I are back at a different church (I'll call NV) in a growing city. My husband and I prayed 3 years ago. If the Lord wanted us there then He would have to confirm it by plugging us in a ministry. He did, praise the Lord but I was struggling. I was struggling connecting with the women. I have never had this problem in the other churches. Again, something was off. I thought it was me and that I missed our home church. I began to get out to the car as fast as I could and just weep after church, Sunday after Sunday. For 2 years I grew complacent in my walk with the Lord. My dreams and words from the Lord stopped, I was broken. Then about 10 months ago. I began to feel the Lord so lovely put on my heart to go to my prayer closet, alone and speak to Him like I used to. I did, I'll never forget it. The first words I heard after praying was "prepare for war". My husband and I begin to pray for our church. That Jesus would give us a love for them, that they would not compromise the gospel and that He would bring to light to anything that was "off" and was not of Him. You know what. About a month or so after praying that. My husband had hurt his back. About 9 people (some in ministry, this is a small church) came up to him in one Sunday and suggested he do Yoga. We later found out a handful of others, apart of the church practiced Yoga and were serious about it. Then the Lord gave me some pretty heavy dreams and a word for NV. Shortly after that, my husband and I have spoke to the pastor, his wife and some elders in the church. They are not heading my word. They believe that you can practice Yoga. The pastor miss applied scripture from 1 Corinthians 8 excusing Yoga being ok for a Christian. They want to address how they view the gifts of the Holy Spirit. We are to meet with them again soon. Please pray for us.

So I have been burdened. I am burdened for this church. Our 19 year old says he no longer wants to go because he does not see or feel the Lord there, and I agree. It breaks my heart we are not worshiping the Lord as a family there now. The women there look at me like I have 2 heads when I bring up dreams and operating in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, correctly and in order.

I am tired, weary and so desire to fellowship with like mined believers who operate Bibically. The Lord has given me a love for them but I am conflicted. I still speak with some sisters in the Lord that are truly spirit filled believers but they are far. Please pray for strength, operating in these gifts can be lonely sometimes. And that when the Lord says to leave NV that HE will be clear in doing so!!