I’ve encountered an odd dream that STILL stands out. It was so vivid that I actually woke up with tears flowing down my cheeks… In my dream I lived in a low populated town with mostly single story dwellings, and it was hard to find a job but I found one working as a cleaning lady for a Cathedral. At my job there was this man who lived in a loft at the highest point of the Cathedral and for some reason women were drawn to this man. At first I wasn’t because I thought he was dating someone but the more I encountered him, I too ended up obsessing over him to the point that I would occasionally sneak up into his loft area just to feel close to him. One of the times I did this when I thought he wasn’t home, I ended up seeing him there being intimate with a woman who wasn’t the woman I thought he was dating, when I saw this I quickly and silently went back down the stairs and went back to my duties for work. Some time passed before I was brave enough to sneak back up to his loft, but eventually I did because I literally could not resist the urge to just feel like I was close to him and this time he caught me and told my boss, I got wrote up and told not to do it again. Some more time passed and again the urge to feel close to him overtook me again so I went back up to his loft but this time both the woman I thought he was dating and the woman he had slept with were there at the same time but both were SO entranced in their obsession with him they didn’t even know the other was there. They were both leaving him identical tiny love notes in the same spots, the same exact box of chocolates and the same exact love card in the same spot. This creeped me out because they were literally standing shoulder to shoulder doing the same exact thing at the same time in the same spots and didn’t even realize it so I started to sneak back down the stairs but I accidentally bumped something and it made a noise and INSTANTLY that noise broke the trance like state the two women were in and they realized the other was there so I panicked and hid. A verbal argument ensued where they were competing to prove who loved him more and who he loved more, they both showed their love gestures of the notes, card and chocolates and continued bickering until the one said, oh yeah, if he loves you more why did he just recently sleep with me… the woman I thought he was dating was devastated, you could tell she and the man hadn’t crossed that line yet and she was so hurt she ran down the stairs sobbing and as she was running out sobbing the man was coming into the Cathedral and tried to stop her to see what was wrong, when she wouldn’t stop he rushed up to his loft and saw the other woman there, no words were spoken but you could tell he felt bad for her because he didn’t love her at all and she sensed it. What he did do was immediately sense I was there and found me, he was SO mad at me he chased me out of the building and told my boss and I was fired. At first everything was ok, but then all of a sudden my entire life fell apart, I lost my home, couldn’t find work and could no longer feel connected to my faith. I panicked and immediately headed for the cathedral, this time it wasn’t for him, it was because that was the tallest building in the town and I felt like I needed to go to the highest possible place I could to try to feel God again so I did. When I went into the cathedral he saw me and tried to chase me off but I wasn’t going to be deterred and kept going, I charged to the top of the building to his loft and he caught up to me, grabbed me by the wrists and screamed at me saying I am not supposed to be there and needed to leave while shaking me. I told him I couldn’t, that I needed to be as high up as possible to try to feel God again because I could no longer feel him and I collapsed to the ground, curled into a fetal position and sobbed. I told the man I was sorry, that I shouldn’t have gone up to his loft all those times but that I did it because I liked him and just wanted to feel close to him, and he fell to his knees crying, somehow ended up behind me, holding me and was sobbing with me. He told me he was so sorry, to which I said he shouldn’t be, that I had no right to invade his space and he told me he was sorry because after he got me fired he was still so angry with me because he thought I led both women up to his loft so they would discover the deception he was dragging them both into, so he prayed to God that I would bream in the consequences. This was when I woke up with tears flowing down my cheeks, I wrote out the entire dream, the date it was given to me (3/12) and the time I woke up to write (4:40am) and that word bream, I couldn’t get it out of my head, honestly I still can’t because of the emphasis with which he said it in my dream so I eventually looked it up. There are 2 definitions for it, one is a fish, and the other is to clean the bottom of a boat (vessel) by burning and scraping. Since that dream there have been multiple nights I kept waking up exactly at 4:40am until the past two nights. Two nights ago it was 4:19am and last night it was 4:11am The really odd thing for me is I’m usually a sound sleeper, I could sleep through just about anything but now this waking up at 4 something in the morning and struggling to fall back to sleep is becoming a common occurrence where I wake up, for various reasons, it’s never the same reason, I usually try to use the restroom to see if that is the issue, lay back down and fight to fall back to sleep. Another important thing to note as far as my dream goes, I’m NOT in any way tempted by men, I gave up an amazing relationship and dating in general and became celibate 3 years ago to give myself fully to God and am not in any way shape or form even the slightest bit interested in doing anything that could risk how close I’ve become with God in these past 3 years so to dream about being obsessed with a man don't make sense.

Then on 3/23 during some 1 on 1 time with God praying and worshiping, I believe I was given the understanding of what the dream meant and it is as follows:

I think the women being entranced in their obsession is symbolic for the people and the last days churches being entranced in their sinful ways, captivated by the world instead of God and I think that unspeakable sorrow I felt when I felt removed from God is how the world is going to feel when God pulls from the world, people will be SO desperate for God they will seek him, running to places where they think they will find Him and when they realize He has hidden Himself from them, they will be left literally weeping like they’ve never done because they will realize too late that their decision to pursue sin over God cost them the grace he so willingly offered them. I think that period of time after I was fired where everything was fine at first is how the world will be when God first turns his face from them, they won’t even notice at first and when their lives start literally falling apart and they try to call on God then they will realize he has turned from their sin.